Winter.

I was really, really hoping to wake up to blue skies and sunshine this morning… that didn’t happen. More rain, wind, and dirty clouds. UGH. What’s more, is the weather guy solidified the fact that winter is coming, with his 5 day forecast of COLD. I have been ignoring the inevitable…winter is on its way.

Sunshine.

I spent this rainy night indoors… trying to find some color within. Exploring the confines of my own home, I discovered sunshine on my own.

Where were you when Obama was elected President?

I watched the election on a big screen TV at a local bar up the street from my house.

As the results for each state were announced the crowd would boo (McCain) or cheer (Obama). As one guy, standing next to me, said it best: “This is like watching the world series of freedom!”

I have to agree. I’ve never felt this proud of my country before. Barack Obama has done what no one imagined possible. He has restored my faith in humanity and given me hope for a new America.

Congratulations Barack Obama for winning a well-fought race with dignity, poise, conviction, and courage.

For all I know, last night may have been the most monumental political event I will ever witness in my lifetime. I brought my camera along with me to document this piece of history. Although it was dark, I captured what I could of the moment and have started a public, online photo group so that I can share those photos with you. It is my hope that you too will post your photographs and stories of the night here as well.

A Picture is Worth A Thousand Words?

I’ve fallen madly in love with my camera. Seriously, it’s occupies all my spare time these days. I’ve upgraded to a Cannon G9, so I can start to learn the true mechanisms of a camera… you know aperture, shutter speed, etc. It’s challenging to understand right now, but I’m learning to work with it.

Recently, my passion for photography has been refueled with the help of a new friend of mine… we’ll call him Chicago. Chicago is one hell of a photographer who wanted some inspiration. I’m, well… an amateur photographer that needs practice! So together we decided to create weekly photo assignments based on different themes. At the end of the week we upload them to an online group, where we can both post our photographs and share our work.

So far, this experience has been amazing. Not only do I carry my camera everywhere these days, but I’m using it… a lot! It is interesting to see each other’s photographs and compare each other’s perspectives on the topic. I am learning through practice, and inspired by our mutual love of cameras.

The only drawback to this endeavor is that I’ve become so immersed in my new world of photography, that I’ve seriously been neglecting my blog. Writing and having this artistic outlet is so important to me. So, I’ve been trying to figure out how to maintain both… realizing that, as of lately, I’ve become all-consumed with photography.

Today I think I found my answer. As I was looking at other people’s photographs I found one woman, in particular, that I liked. She has some great photographs, but what really caught my eye was that she describes each one, as she took them:

OldhaMedia says:

Photo taken by: OldhaMedia

Lunchtime.

36th and 8th.

Chan (a total stranger who struck up a conversation with me) saw my camera and asked me to take a picture of him in front of the very big dog in the truck.

Chan would not stop chewing, however.

Margot (my co-worker – not pictured) could not wrap her Seattle brain around the fact that I talk to strangers on the street.

The pigeons were a gift from the photo gods.

—

Photo taken by: OldhaMedia

This is Donde. Maybe he said Dante.

Whatever.

I saw him across the intersection of Spring and Broadway, dancing with the pink bubble guns he was selling.

I shot as much as I could before the batteries died.

He danced and fired off thousands of bubbles with such complete joy, filling the streets with shining gems of soap and air, it made me feel filled with the same joy just watching him.

I went over and told him so.

His hair was amazing… Woven with shells and silver trinkets and things he loves… He told me that six years ago, he shook off his corporate shackles and decided to do only that which brings him happiness. His long dreadlocks are a symbol of that rebellion.

I’m mad about Donde… Or Dante… Whatever.

Yes, I now own a pink bubble gun, too.

Anyways, I thought I’d share my newest love in life with you… My words may be short and sweet over these next few months, as I’m glued to my lens. I’d like to share my photos with you, and as OldhaMedia has so candidly done. I hope you will enjoy following along with me as I explore a new world of art.

My Photos

When It Rains, It Pours.

After a weekend of non-stop rain and gray skies, my spirits were already down. I need to see the sunshine every day. It is more than just a desire… it is a necessity for me to feel whole inside. So believe me when I tell you, I was totally unequipped to start my week all over again. This Monday in particular was tougher than usual to swallow.

I went to the bank early to deposit some money into my account. I panicked, after looking at my balance and realizing that the $400 cash I deposited on Saturday had not posted to my account. I asked the teller why this money wasn’t there. After looking up my account, she informed me that there was no record of any transaction on Saturday. WHAT the F***?!

Now, I’m not always so diligent about tracking my deposits and withdraws or even saving my receipts from my banking transactions. However, it happens to be the end of the month, when all my bills are due and every bit of money must be accounted for. So the sheer fact that $400 of my money is missing without a trace, after I placed it in the hands of a bank teller on Saturday is absolutely disturbing! I am appalled that this is even possible!

THANK GOODNESS I SAVED MY BANK RECEIPT! For all of you, please, PLEASE, let this be a lesson… ALWAYS SAVE YOUR BANK RECEIPTS! After calling my bank, they informed me that the only way to resolve this matter is to bring my receipt into the branch where I made the deposit. Heh… pain in the ass, since I have to WORK during banking hours. Meanwhile my account has been over-drafted, twice, since my bills were scheduled for automatic withdraw… so I am left to deal with the anxiety of mounting over-draft fees, for which the bank WILL take off, once I resolve this matter. This whole situation, is completely unnecessary, but believe it or not, has happened once before. Folks, let me repeat the lesson learned: ALWAYS SAVE YOUR BANK RECEIPTS!

So, Monday was already off to a bad start. I was exhausted from work and ridden with anxiety from my dealings with the bank. As I plodded home through the rain, I took a deep breath, realizing this would all be resolved in time. I tried to relax, as soon, I’d be in the comforts of my own home… only when I arrived, another surprise awaited. I walked into a disaster! At first I thought my apartment had been ransacked, as the floor was covered with debris, but as I looked up, I saw a gaping hole in my kitchen ceiling! A 3X5 foot section of water-logged plaster had collapsed onto my kitchen table and floor. My kitchen was covered in filth. I could hardly believe my luck! This was too much for one day… too much to deal with, when I hadn’t seen the sun.

A few days later, the sun has peaked out briefly, and so too have my spirits. My landlord has been very responsive to the situation. The roofers have already come out to make the proper structural repairs, and the contractor is on his way here today to assess the interior damage. As for the bank… we’ll take care of that situation today as well. After my first good night’s sleep in days, I am recovering, breathing… moving on. It’s easy to be overwhelmed when one stressful situation is compounded by another. Everything has a way of working itself out… I just need to remind myself of that in times of stress.

Art is Dead.

I’m sitting at the most pathetic open mic night I’ve heard in a long time. I don’t mean to be callous… but honesty has its way with me. You see, I didn’t mean to be here on my Friday night. I’m stuck at a coffee shop, silently begging the rain to stop so I can say good-bye to my impromptu friends. What started as a leisurely afternoon at my favorite coffee shop, turned into a painful sampling of what this crowd deems as “art” , “music,” and “poetry”. It hurts… apparently art is dead at Java Joes.

I’m sorry to be here, so cynical, so uninspired… but really, I’m not ready to brave the rain. So I’ll soak up the crowd a little and try to find some beauty from within. It is a random bunch of imports comprised of no familiar faces. There are many graying beards peacefully jammin’, sing-a-long-style to Grateful Dead karaoke covers, a poet with a “cosmic aria of a wife”, many eerily smiling faces,  a terrible rapper-gone-wrong that got the crowd to chant “kickball” as the chorus, and several young couples who have tried to brave the scene for the sake of their “date”… Okay, I give up! I can’t conjure up any positive words to accurately describe what is happening here.

Anyways, I think I’m going to have to roll up my pant legs, and make a run for it before I get socked for rolling my eyes, not clapping, and well…typing! I’ll just sing this new little rap-ditty I heard tonight, while I’m splashing through the puddles on my way home:

“When we’re on the field we play”… ‘kickball!’

“What a lovely day”… ‘kickball!’

“The league is here to stay… ‘kickball!’

“W.A.K.A!”… ‘kickball!’

(Can anyone tell me what the hell this means?!)

Not exactly how I intended to start my weekend… but hey, there’s always tomorrow!

Can’t blame a man for tying…

When it comes to pick up lines, I thought I had heard it all… some are cute, occasionally they are flattering, but typically most are corny, and some just downright filthy! I have two new ones to add to my list, after a recent trip to California.

One was from a homeless man sitting on the curb outside my friend’s apartment in Venice. I came out of the house wearing a sun dress, and got a “Wow, if I had a job, I’d take you out on a date!” That was… well, honest! I can respect the truth, simply given.

The second comment was one, for which I can’t stop laughing about. I was standing at a bar waiting to order a drink for my girlfriend and I, when this guy looks at me and asks, “what fucks like a tiger and winks?” I said, “pardon me?,” not believing what I had just heard. He repeated the question, “what fucks like a tiger and winks?” His answer… are you ready for this? He stared at me straight-faced, with his cap on backwards, sporting his long surfer dude haircut, and winked at me!!!!! I didn’t know whether to laugh or slap the guy up side the head! I returned to my table with our drinks in hand and couldn’t help but to blurt out his line to my friends… we enjoyed endless laugher, shock, and amazement at the balls of that guy… hope he saw us mocking him as we motioned tiger claws through the air.

Adding these to the list, I’ve been trying to recall some of the old pick-up lines that others have tried before these two recent gems. I’m now wishing I had written some of them down, just for kicks… as most of them are tragically over-confident and just downright ridiculous! It would be funny to hear/read others… what are some of the best/worst lines you’ve ever told or been given?

Some genes are no good.

My brother died two years ago of a heart attack. He was 35. My grandfather died of the same at age 42. My dad had three stents put in a few years ago… My family tree is plagued with stories of triple and quadruple bi-passes, and most all are on cholesterol-reducing meds for life. Add obesity, high blood pressure, and diabetes from my mother’s side and well… the prognosis in regards to my genetic make-up: NOT SO GOOD.

I have made some fairly proactive decisions in my life in an attempt to ward off the inevitable… but let’s face it, we are all prone to fall back into our lazy routines in life. Over the past few years I have fallen down a slippery slope… too “busy” to care about what I eat at night, and too “tired” to exercise.

What really bothers me is that I should know better. If there is anything that my brother’s death has made me realize, it is that our time here is precious and that no one escapes reality. The reality in my family is that we need to consciously treat our bodies well in order to live a long, healthy life.

So, it’s time. Time to start over again, to make sure I have the best chance I can to live on my own accord. So I started running again…first time since high school that I’ve really stuck to it. Something is different in my motivation this time around. No matter what battles I fight inside my head while my brain is trying to sabotage my workouts, I’ve somehow managed to keep plodding along. It hurts, I’m sore, but overall my body feels good. It is empowering, knowing that both my heart and my mind are growing stronger… knowing that I’m giving myself a chance to beat the genes I was born with.

The scenic route.

A year ago, I thought I had my life all laid out in front of me. I was in a serious, long-term relationship, contemplating all the next steps of togetherness in the traditional sense. As it turns out, it was all wrong… we were wrong together. We both knew it, but it took some courageous realization to undue the facade we had co-maintained in our blissful acts of denial.

Moving on came with surprising ease… I guess I had no idea how much of a burden our relationship had been. Living without him was refreshing, and far easier than expected… with no more weight to carry, no more tears or disappointment. I was happy to be alone, to find myself again, in the midst of all the newfound uncertainty of my circumstance.

Time passed. Life seemed to flow, and although seemingly without rhyme or reason, my shoes just plain fit better. I developed a surprising sense of curiousity and openess to my life and the manner in which I chose to live it. I did what I had seldomly allowed myself to do… I relaxed. After years of conforming to the person I felt I should be, I was finally free to be myself. I stopped trying to make what I thought needed to happen in life happen.

So feeling grounded, open, a new… I have been re-evaluating the prospects for which I have held for my future. This has been no easy task… especially considering that my attitude holds no conventional norm, nor do the decisions that I make because of it. Freely I am choosing a life which doesn’t make sense to most… especially to those whom I love dearly. This is not unlike any other decision I’ve made in life… it’s always been my tendency to find my own way. It’s just hard sometimes forging your own path, in a world that lives down another.

I’m at that transitional point in life, where I’m idly watching my friends marry and have children. It’s tricky being on the outside, watching it all unfold like it’s “supposed” to. Slowly, to no fault of their own, I’m watching my friends retreat into their own worlds… happy in a way that they believe is right for themselves. It’s good I guess, but sad in a way, that I don’t share that same sense of desire. My friendships, no matter how close have changed as our individual priorities and daily existence has evolved… each in our own direction.

I guess I’m questioning all the basics… you know, those things we all grow up believing are necessary to achieve happiness and essential towards progressing in life. What happens when you choose another path? What if I don’t want to marry, to have children, to work 9-5, to have a house or dog? What then? What comes of the friendships that I’ve made, when we no longer have much to relate to in life? Who will be left to share my world? How do I explain my desires to those whom I love?

I don’t have many answers… only a bit of faith, that I know what is best for me. I always seem to find my way. It’s just hard sometimes when you seem to be the one left behind… who knows, perhaps it’s me, leaving others behind in the midst of my quest?

Camera Practice

So, here are some of the photographs I’ve been taking lately (thanks to those that have expressed an interest in seeing them). I’m using a digital camera, a Cannon Powershot SD1000, so nothing fancy, but I’m just learning! I’ve been tryng to figure out how to capture the light (without a flash) at night. I’m learning the trick to evening photography is to adjust the ISO to the lowest setting possible, depending on the light, which requires a very steady hand to capture a crisp image without any blurring. After many botched pictures, I’ve finally figured out how to stabilize my camera just long enough to get a good shot here and there. Here are some of the pictures that have turned out…